My recent experiences (with being released from work, and dreams which pointed me to my new kitten companion) remind me of a client I knew who had an amazing dream that changed her life: “I was riding around town in my father’s car.” Doesn’t seem like much, but I asked her what kind of car it was: “A Chevie Impala.” Knowing that an impala was an animal, I encouraged her to look it up in an encyclopedia: “An animal able to leap great distances to avoid danger, but only if it can see where it is going to land.” This was, basically, her father’s motto: “Never quit one job until you have a new one lined up.” She had been driving around in this car, this motto, even though her current job was sapping her energy, her strength, her joy for life. As soon as she read about impalas in the encyclopedia, she went and resigned, and within a couple of weeks she had her dream job. May we all be so blessed!

Most rainbows look like they are coming to earth far away. A few years ago I saw one in Spring Green, WI, that seemed to be landing just behind the hill right in front of me. Last week (1/11/12) I saw a double rainbow in downtown Asheville; the inner, brightest one looked like it was coming down to earth just yards from me, as though I could step right into it. I feel like, since being “released” from my job, I have stepped into the labyrinth of joy which is leading me directly into that rainbow. I am aware of increased energy, and others are commenting on it: “You’re more animated,” “You seem happier,” “There’s something different about you—definitely in a good way.” I don’t know what’s next; only what is NOW, and NOW is pretty wonderful.

I’ve been taking Trip outside on a leash (he’s too small and impulsive to let him go alone), and he acts like a Jack Russell terrier—leaping and straining against the leash, and pulling me along to a path in the underbrush where I have seen rabbits run. A far cry from the meditative walk I used to take in the labyrinth with other cats, primarily Willow. (See picture.) But I absolutely love Trip’s enthusiasm and energy, and use it as a reminder to engage that energy in myself whenever possible.

What promises to be “The Labyrinthine Trip of 2012″ actually began somewhere around Thanksgiving of 2011, when Clive, the cat, disappeared, leaving a huge space in my life. Another huge space was created when, on December 26th, I was released from my part-time job at a fabric store. Although I had thought I needed that job (for its salary, and its employee discounts, which fed that part of my life where I’m a fiber artist), in the moments immediately following my release, and ever since, I have felt quite ecstatic and grateful. I immediately took some time to rest and relax, and then think about how I wanted to fill that space which had been created. I’m still working on that, and will be using this blog to write about how this part of my journey develops. The next major development came on New Year’s Eve day, when two friends, separately, emailed me about discounted adoptions at the local humane society. I discovered I had only 2 hours left to take advantage of this and, although I thought that after nearly 2 full days most, if not all, of the cats would already be adopted, I took a shower and drove over. I began by looking for Clive look-alikes, and there were a couple, but both were too stressed out to be able to take them out of their cages. It wasn’t until my 3rd time through that I finally became aware of a 4 month old black male (my favorite type of cat) who was the spitting image of a former cat companion at that age. And his name was Trip! How could I not take him home with me, where he has brought in an energy I haven’t experienced in over 20 years—the kind of playful enthusiasm usually only exhibited by the youthful members of any species. He purrs incessantly, plays constantly, and brings one of his toys over to me when he wants interactive play. To put it succinctly, he is a trip, and I expect I am in for quite a ride this year, with Trip as one of my guides.

Truth be told, this story begins back before Thanksgiving, when my indoor/outcoor cat companion Clive (a very large tabby) went missing. Around that time I had two dreams: I was clearing out a tunnel system which allowed two former black cat companions (Castor and Pollux) to go in and out without me opening a door for them; I was about to leave my house and heard a noise which, when I opened the closet door, turned out to be an emaciated cat who was a different color than Clive.

Eventually I determined that Clive had passed into the spirit realm, and I began my grieving process. I also knew that I would look for another cat, perhaps a reincarnated Clive, very soon. It began to be imperative when my house became overrun by mice. I looked at one shelter and found a cat who was nearly the spitting image of Clive. This cat, named Boogie, came immediately to me the first two times I went to visit, but did not budge on the third visit, and I left him there.
On New Year’s Eve, I got the message from a friend that the Asheville Humane Society was running a special on adoptions—$12. I had about 2 hours to get there before they closed.
Once again there was a cat who looked almost exactly like Clive, but he was unhappy and wouldn’t greet me. Given the lateness of my arrival, most of the cats had already been adopted, and it took several turns through the shelter before I really noticed Trip—the spitting image of my two black cats, Castor and Pollux. And, at age 4 months, he seems very small and emaciated compared to Clive. My two dreams were being played out before my eyes.
Those dreams, his color (my favorite), and his name, all led me to decide to bring him home with me.
It’s quite a change to have kitten energy in the house again after about twenty years with adults. He is lively, playful, energetic, enthusiastic—a true delight; just the kind of Trip I want to be on myself in this new year. And he seems to be quite happy to be a part of it.

This is an Insight Card message from the Transformation Game, a card which I draw fairly regularly. Sometimes it is a reminder of what I need to do; sometimes it is a pat on the back for how I’m living my life in that moment. When I drew it this past Sunday, as Bonnie Cooper and I were offering Earth Fare goers a taste of the Transformation Game, the card had multiple meanings. When we were finished with the Game and checking out with some food, we witnessed a cashier who was living this message in the moment, and his energy was exhilarating and contagious; both Bonnie and I wanted to dance right there. The next day, something happened (with my car) which I initially allowed to depress my energy, until I remembered the night before, and the message: You laugh a lot, dancing along your merry way. The rest of the day I attempted to stay true to that message and, the next day, the problem with the car was easily (and cheaply) resolved.

This morning I began my day, as I often do, listening to an Abraham meditation, after which I move directly into my practice of the Inner Smile by Mantak Chia. Normally this practice takes several minutes to get into the flow, but this morning, as soon as I my thoughts turned to the Inner Smile, it was there, on my face, and all throughout my body, and I moved immediately into the final stage, which is a flow of smiling from me, outward to the entire universe (and beyond) and back again. It was utterly delightful and delicious, and I have yet to find a better way to start my day, a better energy to send forth before me as I venture out into the day and the world.

Today I went to a friend’s 60th birthday party and discovered it was, primarily, an ecstatic performance, by her, of some dance/story/sign language pieces which she offered to us, her friends. It was delightful to see such an expression of joy in her and in us. May we all express ourselves with such joy and abandon in our own lives.

“Radically new or innovative; outside or beyond established procedure, principles, etc.: a revolutionary discovery.” dictionary.com
“Does a man become a revolutionary out of the belief he’s entitled to joy rather than submission?” Barbara Kingsolver, The Lacuna
I had never thought of myself as a revolutionary before reading The Lacuna; idealist, perhaps, but never a revolutionary. But if entitlement to joy is a benchmark, then I am, indeed, a revolutionary, albeit a fairly quiet one. I don’t pick up arms, or even a megaphone but, at times, the quill. Or, just as likely, I quietly practice tonglen (a Buddhist breathing practice of breathing in pain and suffering, your own or someone else’s, and breathing out/sharing joy, delight, peace, etc.). I gave up my license to practice psychology because the methodology and bureaucracy no longer afforded joy to me or my clients; now I practice coaching people on how to experience more joy in their lives. Never mind previous life experiences—find joy in the moment, in the NOW, and the rest of it falls away, at least for as long as you maintain the practice. As w;ith any such practice, you simply keep coming back to it, without judgment about how easily you fall out of it. Even sitting here in McDonald’s, when I look for joy within myself, I find it. And then it appears without, in the delighted voices of some children who just entered. Squeals of delight; ignited by me creating my own reality? Who can say.

Another musical driving moment: Wild Horses by the Stones, and If I Had a Boat, by Lyle Lovett. An unlikely musical pairing, but it brought back memories, and conjured up some wonderful, delightful images. Let’s all “go out on the ocean” and ride our ponies on the boat.